The dentist.

What do you think of when I mention the dentist? Do you think of that Bill Cosby routine where he talks about the Novocaine numbing him so much that he couldn’t talk ?

What thoughts does bringing your children to the dentist conjure up? Is it a lot of work? Do you have a child who is frightened of the dentist? Going to the dentist with a child who has SPD can be a nightmare that goes beyond the typical fear children have from doctor’s visits and unfamiliar situations.

Today I brought both of my kids to the dentist. This was the second time that C5 had ever been to a dentist. Her first trip to the dentist was about a year ago, and it was by far the worst medical experience that C5 and I ever had together – even worse than getting shots. I was frustrated, and she was terrified. The dentist pushed through the exam even though C5 was panicked and screaming. Things really went awry when the dentist insisted that I lay down on the chair and restrain C5 so that she could count her teeth. You can be sure that C5 and I will never forget that, and we’ll never go back to that dentist.

In an effort to avoid living through that again, I got a referral from our pediatrician for a new dentist. Other moms told me how wonderful this new particular dentist is. So I dove in and made an appointment for both kids. It turned out to be a great decision!

Today C5 panicked just as the hygienist touched her mouth. It took some time to calm her down and coax her back into the chair. Our hygienist spent a long time showing her the instruments and explaining the procedures step by step. With much patience the hygenist was able to clean C5’s teeth and finish most of the exam. This hygienist even got C5 to laugh! The dentist himself was also quite successful with his examination. He explained that his approach is to establish trust and then help kids learn cope with the whole dental experience rather than avoid things that cause problems for child such as noise and light. He believes that it is the best way to equip children with special needs for the real world. I completely agree with him. We are returning to the dentist in a couple of weeks in order to establish that dental visits are OK and to build familiarity. He is even going to try to do things that are unexpected in order to teach C5 how to cope with a dentist visit.

C5 was positive and proud at the end of the visit. She was trilled that she was able to tell everyone all the things that she learned at the dentist. She was also particularly excited about one discovery that the dentist made. C5 has two loose teeth.

HERE COMES THE TOOTH FAIRY!

Photo courtesy of Thomªs

Cleaning the house never ends. I am constantly doing laundry, vacuuming, picking up toys, doing dishes, and the list goes on. The battle to keep the house in a reasonable condition happens every day, and with young children – 2 1/2 & 5 – the work load can seem insurmountable. I am trying hard to train my wee tykes to help me out with keeping the house clean. I hope to teach them responsibility and respect for our things. I also think that housekeeping is a life skill that they need.

Sheila at To Love, Honor, and Vacuum has lots of great tips to help you get the family – even the little ones – involved in cleaning up the house. I like one of her ideas a lot. She suggests organizing the toys to help kids clean up, and this is something I know works. In our family room I have the toys organized according to category in baskets. In the past I had them labeled so other folks could figure out the system, too.

Mommy Vignettes has a Hub Page,  How to Clean your House with Young Children. She also lists some practical, age appropriate ideas for enlisting your small children in chores. I particularly like the idea of having your kids help with sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor. I have my kids help me with this. They get to use the dust pan and small broom while I use the regular sized broom. Then I fill a large bowl with hot, soapy water. I add a bit of white vinegar to the water, too. (Sometimes I give the kids baking soda and a bowl of water instead.) The kids use sponges to scrub the floor by hand. I assist them and follow with kitchen towels to dry. Then the kids get a bath and Mom gets a shower! It is messy, but really worth it. (This kind of work is really great for kids with SPD, too.)

My last bit of advice for cleaning with small children is to prioritize. What matters the most to you on any given day? Do you need the toys to be cleaned up before everyone goes to bed? Does the kitchen have to be cleaned at the end of the day? Decide on an attainable goal for the day and focus on that. There will be many things that do not get finished. Be patient, though.

Swimming lessons have begun! We took two rounds of lessons last year and decided to take a break. C4 was terrified of the water last year and refused to put her face in at all. It was not worth it to me to force the issue, so we stopped. Besides, my goal is simply for her to be able to swim not for her to compete or anything like that. Waiting was the right choice! She had a great time today, and she wasn’t even nervous before the class started.

We arrived at the lesson early to allow the kids to warm up to the situation. My kids adjust better to anything new if I explain what will happen and answer their questions at the venue. It seems to relax them – and me. I also give important safety information. For example, today we talked about the life guard’s job. I also explained that they might hear a whistle blow, and three blows mean that the life guard wants to clear the pool. My kids are so curious, and they are pretty independent thinkers. They often question the authority figure when they are told to do something that appears confusing. That kind of questioning seems defiant to some adults even though the questions are not to meant to defy authority. I try to avoid having that happen, especially on the first day of a class.

I saw my little girl actually swim from the side of the pool to the rope and back again with the barbells. She splashed in the water. She even went down the slide into the pool. She smiled the whole time, too! She did check with me throughout the class, but there was no sign of distress. What progress! I am so glad to see her enjoy the water now.

Wednesday is A2’s turn with her very first lesson with Mommy. I’ll keep you posted!

Photo courtesyof  bonsaihiker

Live as a mom for a while and learn a lot! Here are a few things I have learned after becoming a mom…

~ I can run errands around the location of the clean public bathrooms. I never know when we are going to need one!

~ I have to take several extra napkins whenever we stop at a food establishment. There is always a spill or a runny nose. Those napkins also come in handy if that clean public bathroom is out of toilet paper!

~ I understand why drive-thru was invented. It’s not for lazy people as I thought before. No, it’s for moms with sleeping kids!

~ I can make a healthy meal out of just about anything in the freezer or the cabinet. It’s amazing how creative I can be when I have two cranky kids desperately needing dinner!

~ Bedtime and nap time are mostly for kids but parents benefit more. Mommy and Daddy need the rest!

~ I have to pick my battles. I don’t have to win every battle in order to win the war. Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to pick a fight with your kids.

~ My parents did do a few things right.  I take advantage of grandparent wisdom every day. My relationship with my dad is remarkably different now because I truly appreciate him and everything that he has done for me.

~ Although I know a lot about children in general, I don’t know as much as I would like to know. This parenting thing is an art form not a science!

~ I need to ask God for wisdom, patience, and guidance all day every day. I cannot parent these children without Him.

Living as a mom has been an on-the-job learning experience.

Photo courtesy of GIRLintheCAFE

Tonight our small group studied 1 Corinthians chapter 1. It was a great study! I found myself challenged and convicted.

While reading 1 Corinthians 1:10-16, I was reminded of an article in Newsweek that I recently read. Apparently, some Christians on Facebook are using the term Follower of Christ rather than calling themselves Christian in order to avoid the stigma that comes with that name. The divisions in the church that Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians are still present in the church today. (The Bible is still relevant, isnt it?) Paul tells us that these divisions are not what Christianity is all about. In the end, our focus needs to be on the work that Christ did on the cross. What does that mean?

I immediately thought about brokenness. We are all sinners. We can never be perfect. God purposely has chosen those that the world perceives as inadequate, small, and lesser to do big things (1 Corinthians 1:26-29). We see this time and again in the Bible. Moses murdered someone. David committed adultery and had someone murdered. Jesus was born to a young, poor woman. If we weren’t broken, we wouldn’t need Jesus. God wants the glory for those amazing feats (1 Corinthians 1:30).

At my ladies’ Bible study we are learning about fruit of the spirit, and today we talked about patience. One of the points was that we have to be patient with our circumstances and do things God’s way. The example was the temptation of Jesus. The devil tempted Jesus with getting all His inheritance that God promised by simply taking it. Jesus resisted that temptation because we have to remember that Gods work must be accomplished God’s way.

God is whispering to me about letting Him take control of my life. I need to be patient and let things happen His way in His time. I am broken, and I need Jesus. If I wait, God will get the glory for the work that He does through me.

I can’t wait to see what He will do!

Photo by maxintosh

Moms, I think that it is time for me to take the gloves off. Battle “Who is the Boss” between C4 and Mommy seems to be over now. Good news – Mommy won! It took me a little while to regroup once the kids got in their first few punches. Once I got my bearings, though, I was able to stand firm.

C4 and A2 have been testing all of the boundaries lately. It has been especially difficult with C4 with the nightly bedtime fiascoes. Patience, firmness, and love were the recipe for success with the limit testing this time. It never was easy, though. Listening to your child cry and pour on the guilt for 45 minutes to an hour for several weeks at a time can make even the most patient person have a meltdown. I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel once I was in control of my emotions and the situation; I was proactive instead of reactive. Once I did that, I was able to communicate authority over C4 more effectively.

Thank you, God, for giving me the wisdom and patience that I needed.

My family is on vacation this week, and we treasure times like this! The kids were so excited about the trip this time that they couldn’t fall asleep. They had a million questions, too. I didn’t mind, though, because I was excited also!

Even though it is great for the family to take vacations together, taking a trip with young children can be stressful for mom and dad. We have been trying to perfect traveling with little ones in tow. We’ve made lots of mistakes along the way, and we’ve had some success recently. It takes planning and organization as well as patience.

We have discovered that less is more when we go on vacation these days. The kids simply cannot take it when we take them all over the place and keep them busy the entire time we’re away. Besides, it is often the times when you do not force things that memories are made. We try to focus on one exciting activity a day and then have family time, free time, and meals the rest of the time. For us, just changing the scenery is enough to help us wind down.

It is also clear that we need to be prepared to change our plans if things are not working out. Sometimes the kiddos are just not able to cope with the activity that we have planned. Honestly, sometimes Mommy can’t deal with the activities either. That’s when our trusty plan “B” goes into effect. Make sure you have a backup plan, and be patient with each other. Switching gears can be hard.

It is also helpful for us to give each other a break from the action. Although we love each other, my hubby and I have different interests, and it can sometimes be painful to put the whole family through an activity that only one person enjoys. We have learned that we need to allow time for each of us to pursue our interests separately. Aside from that, we each need to have quiet, personal time away from the family. Too much togetherness can be a bad thing!

I know that now that I have readjusted my expectations from vacations, our whole family is able to enjoy the time we have together. I hope that as you plan your next family get away, you remember that it is the time that you have together not the activities that you do that make the vacation fun. Enjoy your next trip together as a family!

Sometimes my life feels a lot like the movie “Groundhog Day”.When you are a mother of very young children, your days usually look pretty much the same, and you are faced with the same dilemmas over and over again. Little kids love continuity and need repetition. If you are like me, you don’t necessarily like how mundane the routine can feel. I am an optimist, though, and there is a silver lining experiencing the same old same old schedule. I have found that it gives me the opportunity to make better decisions the next day. Let me explain.

One of the most difficult things for me as a mother is knowing what course of action is the best. I am not a good decision maker in general since I am such a perfectionist. Often times I make a decision by default since I end up missing an opportunity instead of making a move. As a mom, I feel like I make hundreds of on-the-spot decisions that can impact the rest of our day or week tremendously. However, making different decisions about the same scenario allows me to test the outcome of each decision. As in “Groundhog Day”, I know that the same scenario will come the next day, so if I fail at this attempt, I will get another chance to figure it out.  I can also stick with a particular strategy for a week or so to see if that helps. In the end, I hope that by being repeatedly faced with the same scenarios, as in “Groundhog Day”, I learn something about how to make better decisions for me and my family.

I suppose being a mother requires practice, patience, and perseverance, and ultimately, motherhood is God’s way of transforming me. (Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 3:18)