Photo courtesy of Thomªs

Cleaning the house never ends. I am constantly doing laundry, vacuuming, picking up toys, doing dishes, and the list goes on. The battle to keep the house in a reasonable condition happens every day, and with young children – 2 1/2 & 5 – the work load can seem insurmountable. I am trying hard to train my wee tykes to help me out with keeping the house clean. I hope to teach them responsibility and respect for our things. I also think that housekeeping is a life skill that they need.

Sheila at To Love, Honor, and Vacuum has lots of great tips to help you get the family – even the little ones – involved in cleaning up the house. I like one of her ideas a lot. She suggests organizing the toys to help kids clean up, and this is something I know works. In our family room I have the toys organized according to category in baskets. In the past I had them labeled so other folks could figure out the system, too.

Mommy Vignettes has a Hub Page,  How to Clean your House with Young Children. She also lists some practical, age appropriate ideas for enlisting your small children in chores. I particularly like the idea of having your kids help with sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor. I have my kids help me with this. They get to use the dust pan and small broom while I use the regular sized broom. Then I fill a large bowl with hot, soapy water. I add a bit of white vinegar to the water, too. (Sometimes I give the kids baking soda and a bowl of water instead.) The kids use sponges to scrub the floor by hand. I assist them and follow with kitchen towels to dry. Then the kids get a bath and Mom gets a shower! It is messy, but really worth it. (This kind of work is really great for kids with SPD, too.)

My last bit of advice for cleaning with small children is to prioritize. What matters the most to you on any given day? Do you need the toys to be cleaned up before everyone goes to bed? Does the kitchen have to be cleaned at the end of the day? Decide on an attainable goal for the day and focus on that. There will be many things that do not get finished. Be patient, though.

At Mom to Mom the other day the talk was about celebrating motherhood. It was a very encouraging talk, yet I felt a bit teary-eyed. It was a little embarrassing for me, too.  The speaker today asked us to list a few things that we think we each do well as mothers. That task just set me off. I found it difficult to find things that I can say I do well.

I’m not very confident about my mothering sometimes. There are many days that I feel like I have absolutely no idea what I am doing, and that discourages me. I rely on support from other moms and from Mom to Mom to help me with my insecurities. Having a network is crucial for me, so I can learn different parenting strategies from my friends. I also find that I am able to lean on these moms when I am feeling unsure and even teary-eyed. I like that it is possible for me to let down my guard and be comforted by people who truly understand the way that I feel sometimes. The other wonderful piece of being part of a network of moms is that I know I can encourage other moms when they feel insecure.

Living as a mom in a community gives me confidence in my ability to mother.

Photo courtesy of ro gianesi

Mothering is an art form. Think about what mothers do every day.

1. Mothers nurture their children. For each child that looks different, though. Some children need Mommy to snuggle them often throughout the day. Other children need the freedom to explore independently and know that mom is nearby to ensure that everything is safe. Moms have to learn what each child needs through trial and error.
2. Mothers discipline their children. All children need to be taught right from wrong, but there are multiple ways to teach children those lessons. Each child responds differently. Some children fall to pieces if you raise your voice while other children need the adult in charge to be assertive and firm.
3. Mothers provide for their children’s needs. How many meals does a mother prepare a day? Moms make sure the kids are well dressed. Moms patch up their children’s boo-boos. Mothers hug and kiss their little ones to tell them that everything will be all right.
4. Mothers advocate for their children. Moms tell everyone how wonderful their children are and what great things their children can do. They insist that the pediatrician look into a concern. Moms call the teacher, the principal, and the superintendent if necessary. Moms research to find answers and follow through on that research. Mothers pray for their children.
5. Mothers love their children. Everything that a mother does comes from love, uncontional love, and mothers are blessed.

Happy Mother’s Day. Enjoy your blessings!

Photo courtesy of ~*~Sheyla~*~

Mother’s Day is this weekend! My kids are still very young so they aren’t responsible for planning anything themselves. That means it is all on Daddy to plan something special for me. I have been after him to plan something special for his own mother, so I’m hoping that he takes the hint. What do you think he has planned for me?

Is it appropriate for me to remind my sweet hubby to plan something special for me? Should I tell him to have the kids make cards for me? Having to remind him just takes away from the whole experience. It makes it feel contrived.

How do you handle Mother’s Day in your house? I am looking for solid tips for Mother’s Day!

Live as a mom for a while and learn a lot! Here are a few things I have learned after becoming a mom…

~ I can run errands around the location of the clean public bathrooms. I never know when we are going to need one!

~ I have to take several extra napkins whenever we stop at a food establishment. There is always a spill or a runny nose. Those napkins also come in handy if that clean public bathroom is out of toilet paper!

~ I understand why drive-thru was invented. It’s not for lazy people as I thought before. No, it’s for moms with sleeping kids!

~ I can make a healthy meal out of just about anything in the freezer or the cabinet. It’s amazing how creative I can be when I have two cranky kids desperately needing dinner!

~ Bedtime and nap time are mostly for kids but parents benefit more. Mommy and Daddy need the rest!

~ I have to pick my battles. I don’t have to win every battle in order to win the war. Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to pick a fight with your kids.

~ My parents did do a few things right.  I take advantage of grandparent wisdom every day. My relationship with my dad is remarkably different now because I truly appreciate him and everything that he has done for me.

~ Although I know a lot about children in general, I don’t know as much as I would like to know. This parenting thing is an art form not a science!

~ I need to ask God for wisdom, patience, and guidance all day every day. I cannot parent these children without Him.

Living as a mom has been an on-the-job learning experience.

Photo courtesy of GIRLintheCAFE

Glitterfy.com – Glitter Graphics

I am a crafty and creative gal, so I love planning our kids’ birthday parties! It brings me back to being a child. I LOVE pretend and magic and all things that make a kid’s party fun. I bake the cake and try to make it special for my kiddos. Last year C4 said, “That is the prettiest pony cake ever, Mommy!” It melted my heart!

This year C4 is turning 5, and she wants a Tinker Bell party. I have been thinking lots about this theme. I watched many Peter Pan videos, read the lyrics for songs, and even visited the Disney Tinker Bell web site. I’ve researched Tinker Bell party games and decided which ones we are going to play. I watched a few how to videos on making fairy wings for our craft. You might like the wings craft found on Kids Craft Weekly or the one found on About.Com I even made my own invitation today. Whew! I have been a busy mommy today.

The goal is to throw a really fun party with an extremely small budget. I am being quite savvy here. The craft uses recycled materials: wire hangers & old nylons. The games require some edible glitter, music, bubbles and imagination. One of the activities involves the children putting together their own goody bags with items they search for on a fairy scavenger hunt. I decided to have the party from 2-5 in order to avoid feeding a crowd a meal. I will simply serve snacks, cake, and juice.

Now I have to get the guest list down to a reasonable number. C4 has 19 children on the list including her sister and herself. We’re having this shindig in our backyard (and inside if it pours) so I want a reasonable number. It may take some negotiation, but I think I can be persuasive!

I am excited about the party! I will keep you posted on how it goes.

Do you ever feel like it is impossible to do everything that you need to do all in one day? I have been struggling with keeping up with the laundry and the housekeeping. I have even gotten the kids involved in the projects that they can do like stripping and making their beds, scrubbing the kitchen floor with soapy water and vinegar, and scrubbing the tub with baking soda. The work is endless, though!

I remember a workshop I took at a Mom to Mom that I used to attend. It was about how to organize your time. The speaker talked about how frustrating it can be for moms to be at home after being in the workforce. The work in a home is circular and never really gets finished each day, she explained, whereas in the workplace you have deadlines. When you are at home, you have to set reasonable expectations for what you can accomplish in a given day and what has to get done today. There will always be laundry, dishes, and vacuuming, but there are times when something is more pressing on a particular day, and that is what you focus on.

What great advice! I remind myself of that workshop frequently, especially when I get down on myself for not getting “enough” accomplished. I don’t understand how some moms can keep their homes spotless or even keep up with the daily chores. I know I cannot compare my life to other people’s lives, though, because my family is unique. It is an unfair comparison.

There are days that I cannot accomplish more than managing the kids and that is OK because that it what my family needs. I have to remember that I chose to stay home to raise my family not to be the housekeeper extraordinaire. I am teaching my children about life, and sometimes that kind of teaching requires me to get them involved in chores while at other times I need to show them love or I need to discipline them.

Each day I have to determine what needs my attention the most. I must say that most if the time it is my children who need my attention the most. The house can wait!

Photo courtesy of lorentey

Today Daddy had class all day, so I was on my own with the kids. It was a sweet day! I truly enjoyed being a mommy. We made some precious memories together.

We spent much of our day snuggled together reading our library books – a huge bag full. I think we read for at least an hour! C4 even read a couple of books to me and A2. I’m struck by the fact that the girls love reading much more than I ever remember reading when I was young. I suppose Mom’s doing something right!

We used up some scrapbooking paper that I have had forever. Someone gave me paper for a baby album, and I never got around to using it. There were great pictures in the kit that you punch out, and the girls were able to create collages.  I even made a simple book for C4 to read with the pictures. We chatted away while we created our works of art. (Those pictures are being sent to an auntie.) It was a great opportunity for me and the girls to simply connect and have fun together.

We went for a bike ride with Auntie P and her boyfriend J. They live in NY, so we get to see them from time to time. It was funny to watch all of them together. J and Auntie P took turns pushing the back of A2’s bike. Then they took turns chasing C4 on her bike. They even played a chase game together. It was priceless to watch them play!

Grammie brought a couple of baby birds over today, too. (She breeds birds of all kinds.) The girls love to pet her birds. I love how they have a unique opportunity to learn about birds. They see first hand what baby birds look and feel like. They are learning to be gentle and care for an animal. And it is a special hobby that they share with their grandmother.

A memory making day indeed!

Photo courtesy of djakartafotografi.com

Here is another glimpse into the realities of SPD.

~It can be difficult for our family to go to new places. C4 does best if I can prepare her for what to expect. We tend to go over the details of what will happen and who will be there. If I don’t know what to expect, I can’t prepare myself for what might happen while we are there. She also needs help to transition into the new place.

~I have to monitor the children very carefully when we are home. If I don’t, I might find that they have gotten into some awful mess. I have found many messes that are difficult to clean up because I stepped out of the room for a brief moment. One time the kids found a Sharpie pen and used it as make-up. Yes, it was all over their faces, including their eyes. (By the way, you can get Sharpie off of skin with toothpaste.) I have also found toothpaste smeared all over the bathroom. Not to mention all of the things A2 has decided to drink or eat.

~I often feel like I am being judged because of my children’s behavior. In fact, sometimes my children’s behavior is wild and out of control. These outbursts do not always bode well with other folks. On more than one occasion my daughter has knocked over another child when she tries to give a hug or unintentionally as she walks by. I’ve had my child scream in a store and beg to go home because the lights are too loud and bright and she can’t stand to sit still for another moment. The looks people give used to make me feel ashamed. I have finally realized that my children’s behavior does not reflect on my ability to parent. I did nothing to cause these behaviors. My kids came into the world this way, and it is my job to help them cope with situations, feelings, and sensations that cause discomfort and, in some cases, pain for them. That is all I can do.

The cold, ice, and sickness have kept my family from enjoying much of the winter this year. We have been stuck inside – at home, at a friend’s house, at church events – but stuck inside nonetheless.

Winter is a tough time of year for me. I need the sunshine. I need the exercise. I need the kids to run around and play outside. The short days in the winter can actually seem like they last an eternity to me. My patience wear thin, and I am exhausted.

As you may already know, I suffered with postpartum depression after both of my children were born. I have two separate posts about those experiences if you are interested in more information about my journey to health: Getting Well Part 1 and Getting Well Part 2. Although my youngest is 2 1/2 now, I am still medicated. The medicine has changed my life drastically, but lifestyle also affects my mood. I have to get enough sleep every night. I also need to exercise regularly. I need enough sunlight every day, too, which is why winter is so brutal for me.

My physician has mentioned light therapy, and she recommended products from Northern Light. I have not made a purchase yet. I am wondering if I should invest the money, though. It might help me get through these long winters in the north east!

Living as a mom means keeping myself well so I can be the best mom I can be.