We have been home this week since the kids have been sick with fevers and a cough. Thankfully they have been in good spirits overall. It has been an opportunity to for me to watch them play. You’d be amazed by what you can hear when the kids don’t know you are listening.

The girls are fascinated by babies these days. Their play revolves mostly around baby behavior and mother-child interaction. They prefer to role play instead of using dollies for this game, though. One of the girls will play mommy and the other will be the baby. The baby will make some kind of mischief while crawling around the house, and the mommy will have to scold or redirect the baby. I have heard a lot of the language that I use when they play this game. It is funny to hear yourself in your children’s conversations!

The girls also really like the concept of nursing and soothing a baby. They have questioned me extensively about how it all works. I am honest and explain as much about the process as possible since I think it is really important to answer the kids’ questions at an age appropriate level.  They are so interested in this that they even nurse their dollies. Since I am not nursing a baby these days, it is intriguing to see them play around with this idea. I wonder why they are so fascinated by nursing.

I am curious to see what concepts the girls will try to tackle next!

Photo courtesy of Indiewench

I happy to report that my pooch is doing well. She was miserable with the Elizabethan collar and banged it on everything in an attempt to get it off. We gave in and took it off. So far so good with the wound healing.

The vet called with the report on the biopsy. This tumor was a grade 2, but he was confident that he removed the whole tumor and got good margins. I desperately hope that my dog doesn’t have to deal with anymore of this. It is sad.

The kids have been great with the dog. They have lots of questions about her “boo boo”, but they are being kind and gentle with her. Thankfully the whole experience hasn’t distressed them at all as similar dog injuries have in the past.

Our dog is part of our family. The kids love to play her and talk to her as if she is a human. With that in mind, I have been thinking about and dreading talking with my kids about our pet’s illnesses, injuries, and eventual death when those situations arise. We believe in being truthful and answering our kids’ questions in age appropriate ways, but I know that it will be difficult for me to discuss the honest questions that the kids will ask. Sometimes it is really hard to be the grown up!

At Mom to Mom the other day the talk was about celebrating motherhood. It was a very encouraging talk, yet I felt a bit teary-eyed. It was a little embarrassing for me, too.  The speaker today asked us to list a few things that we think we each do well as mothers. That task just set me off. I found it difficult to find things that I can say I do well.

I’m not very confident about my mothering sometimes. There are many days that I feel like I have absolutely no idea what I am doing, and that discourages me. I rely on support from other moms and from Mom to Mom to help me with my insecurities. Having a network is crucial for me, so I can learn different parenting strategies from my friends. I also find that I am able to lean on these moms when I am feeling unsure and even teary-eyed. I like that it is possible for me to let down my guard and be comforted by people who truly understand the way that I feel sometimes. The other wonderful piece of being part of a network of moms is that I know I can encourage other moms when they feel insecure.

Living as a mom in a community gives me confidence in my ability to mother.

Photo courtesy of ro gianesi

Mothering is an art form. Think about what mothers do every day.

1. Mothers nurture their children. For each child that looks different, though. Some children need Mommy to snuggle them often throughout the day. Other children need the freedom to explore independently and know that mom is nearby to ensure that everything is safe. Moms have to learn what each child needs through trial and error.
2. Mothers discipline their children. All children need to be taught right from wrong, but there are multiple ways to teach children those lessons. Each child responds differently. Some children fall to pieces if you raise your voice while other children need the adult in charge to be assertive and firm.
3. Mothers provide for their children’s needs. How many meals does a mother prepare a day? Moms make sure the kids are well dressed. Moms patch up their children’s boo-boos. Mothers hug and kiss their little ones to tell them that everything will be all right.
4. Mothers advocate for their children. Moms tell everyone how wonderful their children are and what great things their children can do. They insist that the pediatrician look into a concern. Moms call the teacher, the principal, and the superintendent if necessary. Moms research to find answers and follow through on that research. Mothers pray for their children.
5. Mothers love their children. Everything that a mother does comes from love, uncontional love, and mothers are blessed.

Happy Mother’s Day. Enjoy your blessings!

Photo courtesy of ~*~Sheyla~*~

Mother’s Day is this weekend! My kids are still very young so they aren’t responsible for planning anything themselves. That means it is all on Daddy to plan something special for me. I have been after him to plan something special for his own mother, so I’m hoping that he takes the hint. What do you think he has planned for me?

Is it appropriate for me to remind my sweet hubby to plan something special for me? Should I tell him to have the kids make cards for me? Having to remind him just takes away from the whole experience. It makes it feel contrived.

How do you handle Mother’s Day in your house? I am looking for solid tips for Mother’s Day!

Life is fragile and can change in an instant.

I remember the night that my life changed. That moment will be ingrained in my memory for the rest of my life. It started with the phone ringing in the middle of the night. Remembering that sound tears my body up even now. The voice I heard was my sister’s, but there was something odd in her voice that I couldn’t pinpoint. Then she said it, and I wish I could have made her stop. I wish I could have gone back to the moments before.

“Mom died tonight.”

“What?!”

“Dad found mom dead in their bed tonight. You have to come home.”

E and I had just seen my parents the day before. They came to our church for our baptism. My dad actually enjoyed the service and felt comfortable in our church. My parents even heard my testimony for the first time that day. We had a wonderful time celebrating with some cake. But I had no idea that I was hugging my mom for the very last time when I said good-bye to her that day.

When I was on the phone with my sister, I desperately wanted to go back to that day. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was. E and I were married for almost two years. We recently bought our first home and got our first dog. Our life together was just beginning. Everything was going as planned, and we were living our dreams. Our life was blissful. As I listened to my sister, I longed to feel comfortable and happy again.

I didn’t realize how fragile life is as I watched my life change in front of my eyes.

This coming summer it will be six years since my mom died. I cannot believe it has been that long because it still feels like yesterday. Last night I was reminded how fresh those wounds still are. It hit me suddenly. After watching a hospital drama on TV, I completely lost it. It wasn’t one specific thing that happened on the show that started it. It was just the relationships and the events that reminded me of how much I miss being comforted by my mother. This is why I avoid watching my favorite “tear-jerker” movies and only watch comedies, much to E’s chagrin. It isn’t that I am afraid to start crying. I’m simply terrified that I won’t be able to stop crying. Last night I overcame that fear, though. I cried on E’s shoulder and confessed that I wanted my mother, that I had an ache in my heart for her, that I needed to be comforted by her and no one else would do. (Now I understand why my own kids cry for Mommy when they are distraught.) E held me tightly and listened. (He’s a good husband!)

After a bit, I was actually able to stop. I am one step closer to healing.

Remember this…

Life is fragile and can change in an instant.

Mine did.

Photo courtesy of sektordua

Live as a mom for a while and learn a lot! Here are a few things I have learned after becoming a mom…

~ I can run errands around the location of the clean public bathrooms. I never know when we are going to need one!

~ I have to take several extra napkins whenever we stop at a food establishment. There is always a spill or a runny nose. Those napkins also come in handy if that clean public bathroom is out of toilet paper!

~ I understand why drive-thru was invented. It’s not for lazy people as I thought before. No, it’s for moms with sleeping kids!

~ I can make a healthy meal out of just about anything in the freezer or the cabinet. It’s amazing how creative I can be when I have two cranky kids desperately needing dinner!

~ Bedtime and nap time are mostly for kids but parents benefit more. Mommy and Daddy need the rest!

~ I have to pick my battles. I don’t have to win every battle in order to win the war. Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to pick a fight with your kids.

~ My parents did do a few things right.  I take advantage of grandparent wisdom every day. My relationship with my dad is remarkably different now because I truly appreciate him and everything that he has done for me.

~ Although I know a lot about children in general, I don’t know as much as I would like to know. This parenting thing is an art form not a science!

~ I need to ask God for wisdom, patience, and guidance all day every day. I cannot parent these children without Him.

Living as a mom has been an on-the-job learning experience.

Photo courtesy of GIRLintheCAFE

Today I pitched in by watching my friend’s three kids for the afternoon. It was a fun day for the kids. They all get along really well, so in some ways, it was easier for me to have them here. The rain even held off long enough for us to play outside for a bit. I rather enjoyed hanging out with the kids today! Besides, that’s what friends are for, right?

One minor problem with having five children in my house is the amount of food that they consume! The only food I had enough of to feed a crowd was pasta. The only fruit I had was pineapple, and a few of the kids didn’t like pineapple. I realized how badly I need to go food shopping, too.

Miraculously three of the younger children napped for two hours. My friend’s oldest daughter was really helpful with this since she sang to my oldest daughter to put her to sleep while I sang to the two little ones (both 2 1/2).  However, I am not used to having kids awake during nap time. I missed my rest time today, but the big kids played quietly for much of the time after I played a few card games with them. It worked out just fine.

Today my friend unintentionally gave me a glimpse at what it could be like to have the large family that I have always wanted to have. That’s what friends are for, right? I discovered that it’s lots of work and seriously exhausting to have a large family. I also discovered that it’s also so wonderful to be a part of a large family.

All in all it turned out to be a great day! Thanks, Jesus, for giving me the chance to take care of my dear friend’s kids to see a glimpse of life in a big family.

I wonder if you and your husband have experienced this same scenario. Picture this.

It’s late at night. We are both tired. We are both snuggled comfortably in our bed. Then we hear a little one cry and call for Mommy. (They always call for Mommy, don’t they?) There is a moment of silence in which you both pretend to be sleeping. The crying continues. Without opening my eyes, I beg for E to go take care of the problem. He reluctantly gets up to see what is the matter. He stumbles through a conversation with the little one, and puts her back to bed. The screaming protest begins. E shuts the door and returns to bed. The screaming continues, so I send him back – a few times. Finally, I give in and get up to deal with the little one. The little one settles down for a few more hours, and mom and dad try to go back to sleep.

The next day we are all exhausted. Is there a better way?

Today at Mom to Mom we laughed. We watched a few clips from Anita Renfroe’s stand up act, “It’s Probably Just My Thyroid”. One of the highlights was this song. Have a laugh on me, moms!