Living as a mom

Archive for March 4th, 2009

I have started up a new consequences and rewards plan this week for my children. This is our third day using it, and I think it is helping us out a lot. I like how clear it is. There is a visual and kinesthetic component to it as well. It also reminds me to compliment good behavior more often.

We have always had a “three strikes and you’re out” policy (ie after the third time you are spoken to at the table you have to go to bed immediately.) It has been helpful, but I felt like the kids didn’t completely understand it. I’ve taken it a step further and used a strategy that I used in my classroom. It is a card turning system.

Blue = Great job!
Green = First warning. Lose 1st TV show.
Yellow = Second warning. Lose 2nd TV show.
Red = Final warning. Go to bed without books or songs.

Every day your child starts on blue (or a color of your choice). If there is an offense that warrents disciplinary action, you have your child turn the card to the next color (green in my case). The consequence is discussed at that time, and the day continues as usual. Please note that sometimes rather than turning the cards, there is a consequence that is specific to a particular behavior. For example, the kids refused to clean up their Little People set the other night, so they have lost the privilege to use them until next week.

The second part of the system is a sticker chart. I chose four behaviors that I want from each of my children and assigned each behavior an icon as a reminder for the kids. For example, C4 has Be Kind to Sister, Be Respectful to Adults, Obey Parents, and Get Dressed. A2 has Obey Parents, Use the Potty, Be Kind to Sister, and Stay in Bed. The rewarded behaviors will change over time as I see the children start using them without as much prompting. I give stickers throughout the day as the girls exhibit these target behaviors, especially when the situation makes it difficult for them to do the right thing. Today C4 got a sticker because she offered a younger friend one of her security blankets to use as a blanket for a doll. I knew that it was a challenge for her to let go of that special blanket in order to be kind to her friend, so I made a big deal out of praising her.

Living as a mom is being proactive instead of reactive.

Photo courtesy of simtax105