Living as a mom

Archive for January 3rd, 2009

Birthing options should be just that – options.

The other night E and I watched the documentary, “The Business of Being Born”. It was a great documentary full of important information about midwifery, the history of obstetrics, and home birth. Rikki Lake is the executive producer of this remarkable film and even shares her own birth experience.

Let me back track a little to explain why E and I were watching this particular documentary.

This goes back to when we were planning our family. I have always had an intense interest in pregnancy, child birth, and all things natural in the world of motherhood. I am not able to live up to the standards of those truly “natural” mamas, but I strive to learn about the philosophy behind it all and try to incorporate some of those practices that seem most practical to me. So when we were ready to start our family, E and I knew that I would nurse our children and have natural childbirth.

I originally wanted a home birth myself, but E felt that it would be too dangerous. What if something went wrong? How would we get medical attention in time? (This turns out to be a common view of childbirth.) I insisted on natural childbirth, however. And since E wanted me to go the medical route, I decided to research doulas because I had heard about how helpful and encouraging they were for moms when I was still in college. It was definitely not in our budget to pay for a doula, though. Thankfully, it turned out that our hospital also had an epidural study. If a woman who participated was chosen for the natural birth group (the control group), she was compensated with a doula for free. I was placed in the control group so we were blessed to have a (Christian) doula at the birth of our first child.

My doula was fantastic, and I know I would have had an epidural without her presence. She advocated for my desire to have a natural birth even when the nurse offered an epidural. She helped us with different positions and techniques to make the labor manageable. She also helped to determine that my baby was “sunny side up”. Her presence made me feel confident and safe.

My experience with a medical birth was not all that E and I had hoped for. I felt that I did not receive the personal care that I wanted and needed throughout the pregnancy. To me, giving birth is not just about producing a healthy baby even though that is definitely the most important part of it. I also wanted to feel nurtured and empowered through the process. Women’s bodies are equipped to reproduce; women’s bodies know how to bring children into the world. I trusted that. I just wasn’t so sure that the medical community did. I wanted someone who shared my philosophy about childbirth to help me with my next birth.

For our second child I pursued a nurse midwife (CNM). I still had a hospital birth (at a different hospital), but the care for me and my baby was dramatically different. My check-ups lasted at least 20 minutes each time. The midwives always asked me lots of questions, and they were always willing to engage my first child in the visits. The labor and deliver were positive experiences for me overall. Everyone was much more encouraging during the labor and delivery. It also did not seem like an unreasonable request to have natural childbirth.

We are considering growing our family, and I would like to have another midwife (if not the same one) in the future. However, to me, birthing in a hospital still seems to make the process more medical than I feel like it has to be. I am a mother who is healthy and relatively young. I have two children who were both born naturally, so it seems like I have proven that my body is able to handle the stress and strain of childbirth.

Now that we have watched “The Business of Being Born” I wonder if my dear husband will consider the possibility of a home birth. Perhaps a birthing center is the next step…