This post originally appeared in my sister blog, Homeschooling Coach. Stop by that blog to read more about the joys and trials of home education as well as tips and curriculum ideas.

Photo by Luis Bethencourt

In a previous post I told the story of my journey to being healed from postpartum depression after my first baby. When I read a post on TheCoolMomGuide about postpartum depression, I thought I should tell the rest of the story about my road to health, the one that starts with the birth of my second baby.

I gave birth naturally to my second baby with a midwife. The labor was easier and shorter, and the midwife was wonderful and encouraging. I nursed the baby in the delivery room to encourage bonding. I was confident this time around. I was full of energy, too. The first night that I was in the hospital I sent the baby with the nurses so I could rest knowing that I had a two year old to take care of at home. That night I could not sleep at all. I should have known that something was not right, but I figured that it was just excitement.

Photo by babasteve

After spending two days in the hospital and feeling great while I was there, I brought home this sweet baby, my second child, to find out that I was just not prepared for what I had in store for me. I had trouble nursing this baby, which wasn’t a problem with my first. It took an hour to nurse and change the baby. By the time I was finished with everything, it was time to start all over again. This baby just did not sleep. The colic was horrible, too, and after the colic was resolved, the baby’s separation anxiety kicked in. I had a two year old who was completely out of control because there was nothing left in me to do anything for this poor kid. I simply couldn’t get a break from the children at all.

My postpartum depression came back, and it was awful. I was angry all of the time. I yelled at my husband, and I wanted control over something, so I started obsessively washing my hands. Thoughts about the baby’s safety raced through my head constantly, so I was hyper-vigilant about everything. My anger got worse, and the fights between me and my husband got more frequent. I felt like the worst mother ever because I could not nurse my baby properly without support from a lactation consultant, my baby would not sleep, and the crying was constant. I didn’t have time for my two year old, my husband, or me. I was sad and weepy. I needed rest and a break from everything.

When the baby was 6 months old, I finally decided that I could not do it on my own anymore. It took all the courage that I could muster to call my midwife to ask for a recommendation for a therapist. I am so glad that I made that call, though. I began with three therapy sessions a week. It took a couple of months for me to break down and talk to a psychiatric nurse about taking medication (because my therapist is not a psychiatrist). It took some time to find the right medication and the right dose, but once that was worked out, I was finally on the right path. I noticed a really big difference in my attitude and the everyday happenings. The first change was with my ability to make it through the day better; I wasn’t calling my husband to come home at 4:00. I was sleeping better, too. My therapist even helped me to make some life changes that made life work better. She also gave me some perspective on the things that I was obsessing over.

Now I feel better than I ever have before. I know that each day holds different challenges, but now that I take my medication, my mind is clear. I can make good decisions for me and my family. I know that I am a better wife and mother now. Now I am the woman my family deserves.

If you are experiencing anything like what I have described here, please seek help from a professional. Here is a link that may help you.

Photo by maxintosh

Moms, I think that it is time for me to take the gloves off. Battle “Who is the Boss” between C4 and Mommy seems to be over now. Good news – Mommy won! It took me a little while to regroup once the kids got in their first few punches. Once I got my bearings, though, I was able to stand firm.

C4 and A2 have been testing all of the boundaries lately. It has been especially difficult with C4 with the nightly bedtime fiascoes. Patience, firmness, and love were the recipe for success with the limit testing this time. It never was easy, though. Listening to your child cry and pour on the guilt for 45 minutes to an hour for several weeks at a time can make even the most patient person have a meltdown. I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel once I was in control of my emotions and the situation; I was proactive instead of reactive. Once I did that, I was able to communicate authority over C4 more effectively.

Thank you, God, for giving me the wisdom and patience that I needed.

You know you are a mom when…you talk to everyone about bodily functions. It is funny how motherhood suddenly takes away a woman’s sense of privacy. Any topic is fair game – especially potty talk – when your life is consumed by it. That’s where I am right now. My life has come to constant chatter about A2’s bathroom habits.

Yes, folks, we have started potty training A2. She is doing great so far. I have to laugh at my inclination to tell the world about her little successes on the potty, though. We call Papa when she has stayed dry so he can cheer for her. We call Daddy for encouragement when she poops in the potty. I tell C4 every time A2 is successful making it to the potty in time, and we cheer together. All of my friends know that A2 has been waking up dry every morning, and they praise her. Even the checkout lady knows that A2 is a big girl now.

Living as a mom is humbling.

Before I had kids, I worked hard to achieve great things in my career. I wanted to change the world and be the best at everything I did. I wanted accolades. I took pride in my talents and my efforts. I was a professional woman who loved kids.

Living as a mom has changed my perspective slightly. I am still determined to be the best, but now I want to be the best mother I can be for my kids’ sake. I want affirmation about my mothering because I am not always confident about my decisions. Yet I am proud of my children. I am so proud that I have to tell everyone about all of their successes – especially the ones with the potty.

Yes, living as a mom is humbling, yet your heart overflows with pride – for your little ones.

Photo by ninjapoodles

One of the hardest things about being a mom is being the bad guy. I love my kids so much, and I want to give them their hearts’ desires. And I know I have to be “the enforcer” because I love them. I just don’t like it. It is especially difficult to be an enforcer since C4 is a strong-willed child.

Photo by brokinhrt2

Today being “the enforcer” meant that I had to listen to a tantrum for 45 minutes. I had to remain calm (which is so hard to do when you’ve been listening to a 4 year old scream and accuse you of being a horrible human being), and I had to restate the rule over and over. In the end it paid off, though. Eventually she gave up the tantrum and obeyed me. However, there were natural consequences. Because C4 had the tantrum that lasted for so long, she missed out on eating dinner with me and A2, so she had to eat and take her bath alone. She was sad about that, and I was sad for her.

Tonight I was successful in teaching the lesson that Mommy is in charge and you are expected to obey. It is such a hard lesson to learn.

What did I learn? I was successful for a few reasons.

• I did not make the moment about me, but about C4’s choices and behavior.
• I kept my emotions out of it because often times she plays off of my emotional response.
• I also followed through with the expectation instead of negotiating.

It is a hard lesson for me to learn as well. C4 will test the boundries. She will experience consequences for her choices, and sometimes I have to be the one to enforce those consequences. I am The Enforcer, and I have my work cut out for me. I am up to the challenge thanks to the small victories my God gives me!

Photo by BohPhoto

What a blessing it is to be a mother! I don’t always realize it, but today was a day that reminded me how blessed I really am.

Today I took my kids to visit a dear friend who just had baby #3. We brought a meal and a few little gifts to them. There were 5 children including the newborn there. The kids have known each other since birth. Our oldest girls are 6 months apart and our second children, her son and my daughter, are also 6 months apart. I am grateful that we have friends who we have known for so long! The children played so nicely together. They were truly happy to see one another and excited to exchange gifts.

Since my family had a costume party to go to, we decided to dress all of the kids in their Halloween costumes to take pictures of them. There were 3 princesses, a fireman, and a strawberry. They were adorable! It is moments like these that I am amazed by the gift of motherhood.

There were 5 happy children sharing one of life’s moments with each other. We as the moms are blessed to share the moment with them, too. What a gift!

I was tagged today by Rose at Shabby Blog…here are the rules:

Go to your sixth Picture Folder then pick your sixth picture.
Hope that you remember the details!

Tag 5 others
So….here is my picture 6th picture in my 6th folder:

This is C at age 3 on January 20. She is playing with the Home Depot tool box that she got for Christmas. In this photo she had just finished pushing all of the buttons on the front. There is a button for each tool and when you push the button, a very friendly voice explains what each of the tools is used for followed by a sound that the tool makes. There is also a button labeled “Home Depot” that has a man calling over the intercom, “Welcome to the Home Depot where you can find any tool for any project.” (Yes, I have heard it millions of times!) She still loves this tool box, and now A2 loves it! Even though listening to the voice all the time can be annoying, the kids do get lots of pretend play out of the tools inside the box. It is funny to watch them “fix” the rocking chair or the wheels on the ride-on toy.

I am tagging:

Tara, Life, as it is

Little Kite Girl

Holly Nappi Collins, Fearless Females

Jen, Mommay’s Mayhem

Beth, Little Princess Chronicles

With joy in my heart,

Colleen

Photo by CarbonNYC

It isn’t about the turkey, the stuffing, the yams, the football game, or the parade. It is about family, friends, and being thankful. Yes, I am talking about Thanksgiving.

We host Thanksgiving every year, but we still haven’t perfected it. As children join the family, we are finding our humble space a little cramped for everyone. Last year we ate dinner while the children napped and fed them at their usual dinner time. I’m not sure that strategy will work this year.

I want to do things differently this year. I want to focus on being thankful and being with our family. I read about a “thankful jar” at Holy Experience that I think will help us to focus on being thankful. We will change the idea a bit for this year by taking only November to fill the jar with what we are thankful for, and we’ll start our jar for next year right after Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to the experience this year. It will force us to slow down and talk to each other.

Do you have any other suggestions for how to make Thanksgiving a celebration that is less abotu food and more about family and gratitude? Please post your ideas!

This post originally appeared in my sister blog, Homeschooling Coach Blog. Please visit that blog for more about tips & curriculum ideas as well as the joys & trials of homeschooling. You can also read more from Homeschooling Coach at Blissfully Domestic. Looking for assistance with your homeschool? Visit my website, Homeschooling Coach, for more information on how I can help.

After having my first baby, I was afflicted with postpartum depression. Then it struck me again after my next baby. This is the story of my experience of God’s powerful healing the first time I walked in darkness. My experience the second time is reserved for another post.

I was anxious and stressed out. Everyone walked on pins and needles around me trying to avoid upsetting me. I just couldn’t be comforted. It was so difficult for me to admit what was happening to me – postpartum depression. That happens to other people, doesn’t it? I waited a really long time to treat it because I was embarrassed by it. How could I feel this way? Children are a blessing from God, right? I was meant to be a mother, right? What would people think of me?

The reality of motherhood didn’t match my perceptions of what it would be like. I felt burdened by the responsibility that I now had. God gave me this precious child who was helpless and completely dependent on me. What if I made a mistake? I was terrified that something would make my baby sick, so I became obsessed with hand washing and insisted that others wash their hands before touching the baby. I also obsessively checked on the baby after bed time because I needed to know that my beautiful baby was safe.

I was in the dark. The fear was paralyzing.

The Bible repeatedly tells us that God is light. I needed to come out of the darkness and into the light. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” (Psalm119:105) I learned about the power of praying God’s word through a Beth Moore Bible study, Breaking Free. I prayed God’s word during that dark time, and I experienced God’s healing.

When I read Psalm 103:1-5 the other day, I remembered the feeling I had during that time.

¹ Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

² Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—

³ who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

God heals His people. Growing closer to God and learning more about Him is essential to the process of healing. You learn to trust Him during that time. But you also have to take time to listen to Him when you pray. What action does He want you to take? I am reminded of the story in the Bible of the man who was at the healing pool for thirty-eight years.

When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6)

It is an interesting question. I have to ask myself that – Did I and do I want to get well? Do I prefer to be ill so that other people see me? Is it easier to feel badly because that’s what I know best?  When I think about my actions in the past, I do wonder if I really wanted to get well. I was paralyzed just like the man by the healing pool. I needed someone to ask me if I wanted to be healed, though.

Jesus knows the human heart, doesn’t He? He knows that we need to be seen. Rest assured, Jesus sees you! He sees you in the same way that he saw the man at the healing pool. He knows all of your hurts – better than you do. He wants you to be whole.

Will you let him heal you? I did.

This family is living life to its fullest, but sometimes that means that we get behind on a few things. The things that we seem to let go are the laundry and the dishes. Our house currently is a disaster because we have been so busy. The weather has been great, and we have been staying outside for longer periods of time. My husband and I are also trying to make connections in our church, and we both want time to socialize apart from the family. E is in school right now, and that means that his time is limited. So the cleaning has taken a back seat, but now I can’t take it anymore!

What’s a mom to do?

What do you do? I called my dad. There is no shame in calling in the reserves when you need help! When he comes for a visit, he really just entertains the kids so I can run around the house getting things done. I can do the cleaning myself, but the kids won’t tolerate me cleaning all day long and not paying attention to them. That is where my dad comes in. Just having a visit from him is enough excitement for the kids. He is funny and laughs a lot with them. He is also willing and able to change diapers, work on the potty, feed the kids, and discipline them if need be – all without prompting.

But secretly I call on my dad because I need adult interaction! I have been out of the house so much in search of other adults to talk to. Now I have to be inside to clean, so I need someone to keep my company. I know that my dad understands that without me telling him anything. He needs a change in his routine, too, sometimes. When he visits us, I also feed him a homemade meal and keep him company.

I love how I don’t have to tell my dad what I need. He just understands me. It feels good to let my daddy take care of me once in a while. He will always be my daddy, and, I guess, I will always be his little girl no matter how old I get!

My kids can be so sweet to each other. Then there are moments when C4 is terribly mean to A2. She says she does it to get my attention – as if being mean to her sister wasn’t enough! A2 is always thinking of C4 and is almost always kind to her. When I see this kind of cruelty, it infuriates me. Has this ever happened to you? I can’t stand to have either of my children get hurt by another kid on purpose, but when it is my child hurting her sibling just to get attention, I simply cannot take it!

I must add that we still have not found a solution to this problem. I can’t ignore it because it would be dangerous to A2 to do that. Time-out doesn’t work either. We have talked with C4 about this kind of behavior being unacceptable, and that has not helped the situation either.  I know that it quite possibly a phase, but I am hopeful that we can end the phase sooner than later!

I am praying for peace in my home! I am teaching kindness and encouraging thoughtfulness. I know that they hear everything that I don’t want them to hear, so I am hoping that they might hear this!

What do you do about situations like this?